Snippets

A/N: It's been a while since I wrote fanfiction by myself. (It's been a while since I've been on this site at all! Wow, time sure does fly.) This is a little blurb I wrote a few weeks ago, because I felt bogged down writing my essay. It's about Josef being all philosophical. Haha, because you know, if there's someone crazy enough to write about Josef being all philosophical, it must be me. XD Hope you enjoy it.

Eli said he would take just a minute, but Josef would be a fool if he believed everything Eli said. It was more likely that Eli would take ten, maybe twenty minutes. The thief left them, Josef and Nico, by the high hills overlooking the wide river. He would never admit they were lost, but Josef swore he went back to the woods to ask his tree friends for directions. Where they were going was still a mystery. Then again, so were half the things they dealt with half the time.

Nico sat beside him, the red-gold light of the setting sun highlighting her pale face beneath her hood. They sat in companionable silence, like they did often, sensing each others' movements, sighs, murmurings. Most of the time he thought he knew what she thought. But with Nico, he never knew for sure.

Occasionally he wished he was like Eli. His friend was so free, careless with his way of words. It made them little cheap, yes, but that was still a lot better than having no words at all. And maybe if he was just a little more like Eli, he could have been a prince, a bearable one, passable in the eyes of his mother. He could have strutted his way through the crowds of sheeple – those idiots who followed the queen like mindless animals – and faked his conversations. He could be back at the palace. Maybe more people would like him. Maybe his mother would love him.

Josef flashed a small knife from the sleeve of his tunic, and began trimming his nails. There was no point in dwelling over things he could not change. Thereson Eisenlowe was his past, an ill-fitting one; it was a shirt that never fit, the shoe into which he never grew. He was Josef Liechten now. He was the owner of the Heart of War now, on his way to cementing the title of best swordsman in the world. It was this or misery. It wasn't much of a choice. Not really.

He felt, more than saw, Nico shift beside him. She was still staring at the sunset, a small content smile on her lips. Then she turned to him, a prompting look on her face. She somehow felt his question before he even asked it, before he even coherently formed it in his mind. It unnerved him a little, but it was such a relief to not have to get her attention.

"If you weren't a demonseed," he began, rather awkwardly. Because really, swordsmen did not have heart-to-heart chats with little girls. "What do you want to be?"

Her eyes widened with surprise, and she regarded him with curiosity. It wasn't a question she expected. Maybe nobody asked her what she wanted before. After all, she hadn't asked to be a demonseed. She did not have a choice either. They were alike.

She turned her attention back to the sun, this time eyes scrutinizing the horizon as if she would find her answer there. "I…" she drifted off, and sighed. "I want to be…"

A moment passed. Then another. Josef was convinced she would never reveal her answer, and his question would evaporate from their memories, and they would never talk like this again. He was really pathetic with conversations.

"I want to be," then she turned to him, eyes wide with surprise again, but seemingly because she's found an answer so obvious that she thought herself foolish for taking so long to figure it out. "With you."

It strangely felt like winning a long, hard-fought, battle.

But he did not know why. His body hadn't had a good fight in weeks. He was strong, rooted, alert. Yet he felt heavy and breathless. Somewhere, he felt an intangible ache.

"You're a silly girl," he chuckled. However, even as he said it, he knew it was a lie. He was the silly one, not her. How could he have thought, even for a moment, that the attention and loyalty of a whole country was worth this? How stupid of him to wish to be someone else, to wish to trade cheap, flimsy words for this magical, speechless connection? They can call him deaf-boy all they want, but who needs to be a wizard when one can talk and hear without words?

He reached out to cup her chin momentarily. "You're already with me. You'll always be, you know."

It was a hope, not a truth, but on some days, hope had to do. Watching her small smile turn into a shy grin, he knew that was all he needed right now.

A/N: One reason why I love Josef x Nico so much is that their relationship comes so effortlessly. They share such a lovely connection. My big frustration with Spirit War was that this relationship was pretty much absent for the most part. Where was Mother-Hen!Josef? Where was I-Have-A-Special-Affinity-With-Nico!Josef? I think the saddest part is that it was Josef's homecoming that caused this. I guess it's just ironic… to be at 'home' and not be yourself.