Silver and Gold

AN: Wow, this is my fourth update within two months. That's more update than I ever had last year in this fandom. Hehe. But I'm glad to be back. And since I had such lovely responses for "Silver and Gold", I felt inspired to write sort of a sequel where Videl is actually dealing with the problem with Gohan. There is less G/CC here though, and more of what Videl thinks about Gohan, rather than the women in general. Well, I hope you enjoy.

The setting was not perfect.

There were curtains that hung lazily against the window, their thinness and whiteness barely blocking the amiable sunlight. Because the sun was actually amiable now. If she had lifted those curtains and looked down from the glass panes, she would have seen triumph and joy and peace combing through the world. The height of the Lookout allowed her to do that.

The walls were whitewashed, restructured from the damage they had endured only hours ago from the hands of a ravenous monster. The bed was neatly made, no sign of the flowing dreams or horrifying nightmares two boys might have had while they had laid sleeping there.

The air was warm and still, the room silent and relaxing. She could have fallen asleep on the bed too, just to cherish the serenity in this small place, and replenish her body from exhaustion. It would have been the perfect thing to do had she been alone.

Everybody had been in this same room a while ago. Videl didn't know what happened to them. She found herself alone for some time, and then realized there was someone else there with her all along.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, and she looked at him indirectly, through the mirror in front of her. The room had one, along with furniture that would normally be found in such a place. There were things there too that would not usually be situated in a normal bedroom. The exotic plate on a table by a wall, for that matter, one that Goten had excitedly pointed out earlier.

"Yes," was her only reply, but she knew that he knew there was more. They both knew, but they were both evasive with the fact.

"How are you holding up?" he asked. "I mean… how did you, before?"

She shrugged, keeping her eyes on his reflection, afraid that if she just turned around to look at him, her tears might burst through the barrier she had often kept erected. And she knew she couldn't afford to do that because she needed barriers, especially in times like these. She just watched him quietly, watched as his expression darkened into concern as his question was barely answered. He was on the bed, which she had left; she didn't want to think about what they would do if they were alone, like they were now. She didn't want to think about what she would even say - or what he would say to her, her ears dreading certain words that she thought about over and over again. She didn't want to think about him. Not yet, not after everything that happened in the past two days, and not right now when she was swelling with emotions for him. She would embarrass herself; make herself look more of a fool than her father ever looked.

"Videl, if you want to ask me anything, you know you can. I don't mind," he said quietly, his voice so smooth and inviting, seeming like a guide that teased her back to the bed.

There were words between them that had never been spoken, but both Gohan and Videl knew full well that they were there. And they were mutual. And that each of them was afraid to be the first to break the silence.

"Gohan, what would you do if I tell you I don't love you?" she asked, hearing her voice shake. That made her angry with herself. But she was tired of pretending that there was nothing between them, and she knew she couldn't continue with any more lousy pretenses. Yet the truth was just as hard to admit.

She watched him intently, wondering what he would do, or if he would even do anything. Through the mirror, she saw a small smile form after what seemed like a very long neutral facade.

"I'd still love you as if you didn't say that," he said so surely, that she felt like she was the only one having a complicated time at the moment. "Because I know it's not true."

Videl's breath caught, her throat tightened, and a certain pain pricked her eyes. There was always pain when she tried not to cry, as if it was so wrong that she wanted to be strong. The dilemma with that goal was that she knew it would take a long time before she would be considered as such. 'Strong' were these men who held enough power in their fingers to shatter the planet into the other world. 'Strong' were the villains they fought and sacrificed their life for. 'Strong' were those women in the other room, who never broke, even after years of constant worry; even after hearing news of the death of the same loved ones multiple times over.

She felt Gohan's death once. Just a while back. There were no words to describe the hurt, so she would not even bother to make sense out of it in her mind. All she could try to do was to imagine feeling that same wretched emotion again, maybe once every few years.

No, she couldn't do it.

And Gohan didn't deserve to be with someone who could not endure that.

"Look Videl… Mom told me," he whispered. She looked up at him, eyes wide with the disclosure of her secret conversation with Chichi. She frowned, and berated herself for disclosing something like that. She should never trust anyone else with things like her 'feelings'.

"Please don't feel angry or sad," he continued. "I promise I'll always be here when you need me."

"You can't ignore your responsibility," she said, and turned around finally to look him straight in the eyes. "There are times when I know you must leave, and I'm just not sure if I can accept that yet."

And she felt horrible saying it. Never in her life had she felt more shallow and selfish like she did now, voicing out her problems to him, letting him comfort her. She should have been the one doing that, after everything Gohan had been through. After a horrid fight, she should be welcoming him with open arms, making sure he was alright, that he did not hurt, that he was not bothered, and that he would be able to sleep well at night. She should be pampering him, cooking him food, loving him with everything she had so that next time another monster would come, he would think twice about leaving her. And if he decided to go, she should be able to say yes, and that she would always be waiting for him.

"Then I'll give you time. Videl, I know you're worried, but I'm positive that we'll work things out. Look, it's been tough these past few days, and I'm sorry that things happened this way…"

She interrupted him. "Stop, please. Don't say that." He always had a way around her that sometimes made her feel like she'd treated him horribly. There was absolutely no reason for him to apologize, for him to feel sorry at all about her state, or his. Or theirs. It was all her, and this was all her doing. And she knew she was making the situation so much harder, but she just wanted to stop pretending like everything was okay.

"I should be the one to say sorry. And I really am," she confessed. "I'm sorry for not being a better friend to you, or for not giving you what you need right now."

"Can you come closer?" he requested and smiled. "It's strange that we're talking like this." His face looked so tranquil and so at peace, showing none of the storm she bore. She went back to the bed, sat on the edge and looked at him again. A part of her was afraid of what he was going to say next. And she realized that she had always, always been afraid.

"I love you," he replied, smiling wider. "And I'd never want you to change yourself for me. I won't expect you to clean the house, or cook dinner, or stay up all night taking care of kids. For me to expect you to sacrifice your dreams for me just so I can sacrifice myself for the world is a bit unfair, don't you think? For both of us."

Videl looked down on her lap, wondering that if she reciprocated the confession, it would become the point of no return. She had never felt more of a coward; she even felt a little bit insane, feeling frightened one moment, hungry for love the next, and just overall so extremely confused.

"How about a compromise?" Gohan asked. "Can you come to me? I'd like to hold you. Would you allow me to do at least that?" He was so kind, so gentle, that any other girl in her place would have swooned and gave up their hearts readily. He stretched his arm out, waiting for her.

It was a choice, a risk. Certainly in those arms would be abundant love, complete understanding –because Gohan was one of the very few people in the world who truly understood her- and possibly so much more than what crossed her mind. There could be new horizons, new hope, new opportunities, and all she needed to do was to accept him. Then there was the possibility of losing herself, left behind from all the action and excitement, suffering hurt and lonesomeness.

But if she refused, she would be considered a fool for the rest of her living days. And all the reasons for that were too self explanatory, and could all be summed up with just one word: Gohan. She would lose Gohan, in expense of her own identity. Her selfishness, to be more specific.

The thing with these choices was that she would win and lose either way, and it all depended on what she was willing to gain and give up.

Slowly, she reached out to him, settled against his broad frame and wept out the last couple days' fatigue. She felt his arms enclose around her tightly, warmly, and welcoming. His breath by her cheeks, his mouth curved in a smile; he appeared happy and relieved. She was relieved too in a way; frightened and defeated, but at the very least, she felt loved.

AN: There are things I want to say about Videl's internal struggle, but I don't know if I completely accomplished that. Can you guys understand her problem clearly? I hope I've portrayed her character well. I really want people to see Videl as someone more than a tough, curious brat. I want people to see that she has someone with feelings, and who thinks things through before she dives in.

Anyway, so yeah. They're in love. I hope that "I love you" scene wasn't too cheesy; I just realized I haven't written many of those, and the confession scenes I usually write are evasive of those three words. And Videl is lucky to get a chance to weigh her choices like that. Chichi just thought she'd end up happily-ever-after. She didn't know what she was getting into. And Gohan… well, he's such a sweetheart. Are there any real Gohan's out there, by any chance? Hehe. Well, let me know what you think of this.