One Hundred Twenty Nights

AN: Honestly, I have no idea how the title is really related to the plot of the story. I started this one-shot out with a completely different plot, but it simply did not work. So I gave it a rest, and started over with a new goal. And this came out. Hopefully it's good enough. I might re-edit it again just to make sure that there's an overall effectiveness.

I got the second idea from a website (I credit it in my profile) that stated, "The first thing that must be said about Yui is that she doesn't ever take the book world as seriously… Yui seems to feel that the characters in the book are just that…". I felt that if she had questioned Tamahome about his state, I'm sure she had more than often wondered what other thought about being a character. So… out popped this.

One hundred twenty nights later, Yui still could not rid herself of insomnia. She would toss and turn, stretch and writhe, but she refused to relax. If she did, she would be vulnerable to her thoughts, dreams, or any other unpleasant phantoms awake with her that night.

No, I will not be a victim again.

Even though her reasoning said that there was no harm waiting for her, her eyes revealed evil wraiths outside of her tent. She could see them through a small gap between the fabric flaps at the front. They were faceless and unnamed, dark against the dull light of the moon and hazy against the growing algor. She did not know if they were people, or animals, or just grotesque shadows created by the lopsided trees and whirling snow. All she knew was that every night, no matter where she slept, they came and haunted her. They have been after her ever since she came to Kutou.

Yui pressed her eyes closed, and buried her face in her blanket until she almost lost her breath. The shadows were not her only stalkers this night. The cold followed her as well, and its breath whispered through the thin materials of her tent. Her only protection were three layers of stuffed blankets and her blue woolen coat. The fire that Suboshi had built for her only hours before was now nothing but a large black spot on the ground.

She almost cried about her situation. She was afraid, freezing and alone. She did not want to be, but there was nothing she could do about it. That was the most frustrating of all: she could not do anything.

Yui's mind wandered hopelessly to her former friend, wondering if Miaka was any warmer tonight than she was. The priestess of Suzaku had Tamahome who probably kept her company, a warm arm protectively wrapped around her body. Who knew how many of her other loyal warriors surrounded her tonight, using their own warmth to shield her from the cold?

That was not fair.

A great wind swept through the slumbering camp sounding much like a wolf's howl and bringing with it a deep wintriness. The country of Hokkan was cruel with its extreme climate, much like how Kutou was cruel with its war torn citizens.

Bringing the thick blankets up to her chin, Yui shivered violently more at her loneliness rather than the chill. Maybe she could go outside and find Nakago. Surely he would comfort her, and if she was lucky he would offer his company for the night. Slowly, she wrapped the bulky sheets – all of them – around her lithe form, noticing the way her hands shook just with the mere lack of covering. She managed to walk out of her tent despite her numb feet. With some difficulty, she put on her shoes just so she would not have to walk on the layers of snow outside.

Before she exited, she curiously peeked through the flaps first to check if the silhouettes were close by. They were not there anymore. However, when she had escaped the sanctuary of her tent, she was accosted by the beating wind and speedy snow flakes instead. Yui shielded her eyes from the onslaught, but found that impossible without dropping one of her blankets. She decided that if she kept holding the sheets, she would get her to her destination much warmer.

Nakago's tent was not so far from hers. He always made sure that he was nearby just in case she needed something from him. His accommodation was also the easiest to spot in the camp, being the largest of all the tents. As fast as her anesthetized feet could carry her, Yui made her way to her most trusted warrior. She was sure that he would not mind having her there for the night, and if he did, a few kindly words would certainly sway him. That was what always happened.

She did not bother to knock, thinking he would be sleeping anyhow. If he was not, there were no other activities she could think of that could be more important than assuaging her fears at the moment. She tugged the impermeable material of the flaps aside, and was more than surprised to find that his bed was one too full for another sleeper.

Stupid, she reprimanded herself.

Closing back the tent, she turned around. How silly was she to think that she could be with a man at this hour? A man who obviously already had his bed reserved for another woman…

The snow was relentless, beating against her cheeks and landing on her eyes that she could barely open them. Some managed to creep into the little opening where the blankets met on her front and even through her winter coat, dappling her skin with iciness. She shivered once again, and tried to look through the broad sheets of whiteness.

Somehow she did not feel like going back to her own tent. What would await her there other than the frigid air, the loitering dark shadows, and her own pessimistic thoughts? For once, Yui decided she was tired of… well, being tired. One hundred twenty nights later since she arrived in the setting of the book, she just wanted some other way to spend her night other than lamenting the loss of her friendship with Miaka, and the loss of her innocence.

Without realizing that she had been standing outside for a couple of minutes already, the heavy snow had accumulated into a thin coating on her head, and Yui further longed for the comforts and luxuries found at her home. She thought about everything she owned, and wished that during her time at home she had appreciated those things a little bit more. What she wished more than anything else right now was heat.

…Heat.

Yui strained her eyes against the blasting snowstorm, and decided to go back to her tent. She would talk to Nakago tomorrow about the coldness of the nights, and maybe they could discuss a plan so that she would not spend another night freezing. For now, perhaps it would only be a few hours until sunrise. She could wait, and maybe she could distract herself.

Quickly Yui headed back to her smaller yurt and went in. When she had finally escaped the fierce winds and snow, she hurried towards her bed. In the dark she could hardly see anything. Even outside there was a small source of light as the distant moon emanated a small glow against the dark sky. She dropped her blankets and began to shake off the snow that had gathered on her hair and face, cursing the terrible weather. Yui immediately jumped under the covers once she found her makeshift bed, and in the process ended up beating her arms against another body.

With a yelp she came back out, along with Suboshi wincing in pain.

"What are you doing here?!" she asked furiously. A boy in her bed would usually make her thoughts wander to traumatic events, but the overall awkwardness in that circumstance left her mind boggled.

"What are you doing here?!" he repeated, uncharacteristically annoyed with her. He cupped his hand over his chin where a blow had landed.

"What are you doing in my tent?" Yui asked again, her voice getting louder. How dare he be so indecent? She knew he was fond of her but…

"This is my tent!" he defended himself, face in a genuine frown from what little she could see.

Blood rushed up to Yui's cheek realizing her mistake, and for the first time that night her head did not feel so cold anymore. Her eyes adjusted to the dark as she looked towards the entrance of the yurt and back to Suboshi. His hair seemed especially unruly, even more so than usual, and his lids fell heavy on his eyes. He looked as if he had indeed been sleeping there for hours.

She avoided his glare, and looked down suddenly very embarrassed.

"Sorry. I must have… it was snowing really hard outside. I didn't notice where I was going, and I must have entered the wrong tent." She fumbled with the sheets under her, unaware that they probably were not her own either. Yui looked back to the entrance and wondered how in the world had she ended up going to Suboshi's tent instead.

"Lady Yui, you were outside?"

The priestess looked back to the boy, and his upset façade had been replaced with one of concern. His eyes searched her; the dampness of her hair and skin were all too much evidence that she had been away from a dry environment for a while now.

"You're crazy!" he said. His voice was lowered this time, but it did not lose the intensity of his expression. Swiftly, he grabbed the blankets and sheets from underneath him and wrapped her shivering form with them. "What were you doing outside in this weather? In this time of the night even?"

"I… uh…" she trailed off unfinished, and hoped that he would not take offense without an answer for his question. After having three to four layers of covers enveloping her form, Suboshi went as far as taking her for a short moment in his arms. He ruffled her hair, trying to get the wetness away.

For that brief period in time, Yui found herself much taken aback by his unexpected warmth. She had a deep urge to wrap them both in sheets, cuddle around his middle, and just fall asleep right then and there.

However, when Suboshi relinquished his hold on her, the thought stopped as well.

"… and they call me the crazy one," he mumbled to himself. "You'll catch a cold, you know. Even worse, probably a fever too."

Yui cleared her throat, further humiliated by his comment, and decided that it was probably best if she changed the topic.

"Do you know what time of the night it is?" she asked.

"Time to be sleeping," he emphasized his last words. "Not wandering around the campus, freaking people out of their beds," he added curtly.

Yui was silent, thinking what the situation must have been like from Suboshi's perspective. Surely he was as astounded, if not more than her, to find his priestess squirming under his bed covers.

"How long would it be until dawn?" she questioned again.

"Hm… not long," he shrugged. "Probably a couple of hours or so, but I'm sure most of the others will wake up way before dawn. In the winter the nights are too long, and I know Nakago won't have any of us sleeping in just because the sun has not risen yet."

The young woman watched as Suboshi gathered her blankets in his arms. "Here," he replied. "I'll assist you back to your tent. It's not modest that you're in mine at this time." He kept his head bent low, as if indicating her superiority to him.

They both knew what he meant by his last comment. Yui also knew that if they were caught together now, it would greatly taint her reputation as well as his. However, it was not only the cold and the numbness of her legs that kept her glued to her spot. She cast her eyes down, not meeting his. She knew he would insist on taking her back to her tent, and as improper as it seemed, she did not want to.

She sat there, and hoped that Suboshi would think she had not heard him.

"Lady Yui?" he inquired, already standing up beside the entrance.

She heaved a sigh, and looked at him. He stared back at her expectantly, and she returned it with a shrug.

"It's… it's warmer here," she whispered, although it really was not.

"Ah!" Suboshi exclaimed as if enlightened by her mere statement. "I'm sorry. I beg your pardon, your Eminence. It's foolish of me to think that you should face the blizzard outside again. And to think I even initiated the idea… I'm sorry."

The young man went back to his futon and settled down the blankets. He sat across from her.

Yui said, "No. I should be sorry. I shouldn't have come here in the first place."

"Did you want to?" he asked. His eyes widened with curiosity.

"Uh… I did not intend to," she answered truthfully.

"Then you should not apologize. It's not your fault. Let's just call it an accident."

"…yes. We should."

The two teens listened to the moaning wind, threatening the trees to bend. They could feel the snow hit the sides of the tent more harshly. Neither said anything at the time being. Yui fumbled with the edges of the comforters, and tried to avoid looking at Suboshi. The youth had remained seated in front of her, hugging blankets as well. He did not look at her much, and showed more interest at the fire pit nearby.

"I'm sure you'd like a fire, Lady Yui," he said.

She nodded. "A fire would be nice."

He walked across to the other side of the tent, and began working to rebuild a source of heat. The sound of flints scraping together filled the small space, and mixed with the ghastly sounds of the storm outside. It had not been a very good day. Since that morning when Yui went to Touran, the sky had looked threatening already. It was only tonight that it unleashed its unpleasantness.

That morning in Touran another dislikable thing happened.

Yui remembered her exact words to Tamahome like a tattoo on her skin, like ink on paper. You're just a character from a book, she had yelled. She meant it to be a sign that he would not get his happy ending, rather than an insult. To him it probably meant the same thing anyway… if he could understand her.

What she brooded over since then was Tamahome's expression. It was a mix of shock, confusion, and… she hoped it was sadness, but she was not really sure. She wanted him to feel upset, and she wanted him to know that the love he had for Miaka was not real. It was words on paper, and words it would remain. Not real. They were characters! They were not given the right to feel. Everything that they did was written. They did not think, act, and most of all, feel on their own.

She looked behind her, finding that Suboshi was successful with his task. A small glow of orange and yellow filled the tent. He placed wood one by one in or beside the fire, allowing it to grow bigger.

Once again Yui wondered about Tamahome, and whether Suboshi was the same.

When he finished, he sent her a grin.

"Suboshi, do you…" she whispered, but she realized that her question might sound too silly. She had watched this boy hurt over the loss of his brother; she had comforted him, and watched as he regained back his stability. But would he have mourned Amiboshi's death if the writer had not wanted him to?

They're brothers. Of course he would…

"Yeah?" he asked. So, he heard her after all.

"Never mind." She turned back around and clutched the blankets tighter around her body, even though it was not as frigid as it was before.

"Tell me," he insisted. "What is it?"

She sighed, and turned around once again. The fire looked pretty against the dark.

"Uh… don't think I'm stupid or anything. I'm just curious…" she replied, her voice hushed and nervous.

"Sure! Ask away," Suboshi replied, adding a few more stacks of thin twigs into the fire.

"Uhm… do you… can you feel?" she asked bluntly. Hearing herself say it proved to Yui that that sounded very stupid indeed.

"…uh… the heat? Yeah, it feels nice," he answered her. His brow furrowed with inquisition, but there remained a playful smile on his lips.

Great. First he thinks I'm crazy, now he must think I'm foolish too.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked. "Maybe the cold got to you for too long. Come sit near the fire. It's nice here," he invited.

She did what she was told. When she had settled down, she asked again. "Suboshi, what would you do if someone tells you that you're just a character from a book?"

He laughed out loud, probably suspecting a joke.

"I'd tell them to go get sober," he smiled widely, a childish giggle following suit. Yui could not find the heart to do the same.

"But… if just for a second, you pretend that you are… how would you feel about that?"

"Well… I guess I'd feel somewhat…surreal?" he chuckled again. "Of course, because if that was true I wouldn't be real, right?"

She looked at him, and he gazed at the fire in front of them. He appeared to be thinking deeply about what she asked.

"It depends," he answered again. He looked at her intently, his smile never wavering. "Now, what do you mean by 'character'? Am I the hero, or am I the villain?"

Was he either?

"Er… a side character. Probably a back up character."

He did not seem too pleased with that, but continued to respond anyway.

"I… I guess I'd feel a bit flattered," he grinned again at her. "I'd be flattered to know that I'm worthy enough to be written as a part of a book. I mean, even though I'm not a main character, I probably did something… something useful… otherwise I wouldn't be there, right?"

Flattered? Now that was an answer she did not expect.

"You won't feel upset at all?" she asked.

"Hm… maybe a little bit. It depends on my mood. Maybe I'd feel a mix of relief and contentment too." He stared into the fire, his blue eyes examining the dancing flames. "I'd be relieved because I would know that none of my mistakes, or any other bad things I've done, are really my fault. I made them because someone had designed me to make them. On the other hand, I'd feel happy because even though my life has not been good nor real, I was privileged enough to feel joy at some point. And I was blessed enough to have people like my brother in it, and you!"

Yui stared at the boy beside her, amazed at his way of thinking.

"What about the horrible things you've had to go through? Would you not feel angry about that?"

He looked at her and shrugged. "Sure, I would! If I were a character, I'd want to kill my author every time something sad would happen to me! But Lady Yui, I think that someone who's had a lot of ordeals makes for a better person to read about. He'll be more interesting! If I were a character, I'd like to be memorable."

He held her eyes for a moment, intensity in both of them apparent once again. Yui did not know what to think about that one. When she thought of tragedy, she thought of Macbeth, and she had not exactly been a fan of his murderous ways. When she thought of a happy ending, the four lovers of Athens during that warm midsummer night popped into her head. What were their names? She could not remember… and therefore, they were not memorable enough.

"Lady Yui," he was whispering this time. "If I was a character and you were the reader, would you remember me?"

His eyes were so honest, so wide and hopeful that she almost said yes all too soon. She laughed a little bit to herself after contemplating that she would have said yes anyway, even after thinking.

"Yeah," Yui nodded. "Sure, I would."

His smile widened considerably, shoulders heaved in a very pleasing sigh, and his eyes held a sparkle that wasn't there before. Suboshi's expression was similar to a face that Miaka would make after seeing an all you can eat buffet.

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course!" she smiled at him. "Actually, to be honest… you're probably one of the very few things that I'd want to remember."

She was speaking the truth. If she had been asked the same question only a few weeks before, she was certain she did not want to remember anything that had happened in that world. She even wanted to forget about Miaka. Forget about Tamahome, and her stupid infatuation with him.

He leaned closer to her. "What would you remember most about me?"

Yui looked up to study her friend closely. The bright light of the fire had created dazzling shadows to sway inside the yurt, and play across his form. His face was deeply accentuated, one side clear, the other veiled. The orange blaze was so strong in fact that his naturally deep azure irises looked somewhat green at that moment. Despite that, they always failed to lose their usual fervor.

"Your eyes…" she said finally.

She could tell he was amused by her answer. "My eyes? What else?"

"Uh…," she had not exactly prepared for this kind of conversation. It took her a while to come up with answers.

Either that, or you just want to be extremely sincere… like him.

"Your smile," she said again.

"What else?"

"The fact that you're so nice to me."

"What else?"

Yui rolled her eyes; she knew that he was not doing that only because he was curious, but rather he was just simply playing around now.

"Everything," she answered, stressing out the word.

He laughed, and she was surprised when she did too. "There, happy now?"

Suboshi looked at her suddenly halting his laughter. "I'm always happy when I'm with you. Don't you see it?"

She gave him a smile to reassure him.

"Lady Yui, why are you asking me these questions? Is anything wrong?"

"No, I was just… I just read something, and it got me thinking." There goes the sincerity.

"Oh. Well, how do you like the book so far?"

She stared at the fire, watching as red sparkles hopped off the sides, and the wood crackled under the unbearable pressure. No, she was not liking the book.

"Uh, I don't think it's turning favorably for me."

Before Suboshi could respond, soldiers began to scuffle outside noisily. The two of them could tell that some of their company were waking. During their short conversation, the snow storm had stopped. Perhaps the soldiers thought it was better to take advantage of the break in the storm to begin readying for the day.

"Lady Yui, if you want to get more sleep, you can stay here. Soi actually told me to help prepare the breakfast for this morning, so I think I should get started now."

The blonde girl nodded, and watched as the young man tightened his coat about his form.

"I'll come by from time to time to keep the fire going. You still have a couple of hours of sleep if you need it." He rubbed his hands together for warmth, and pulled the flaps aside.

Yui kept her position near the fire. Even though she appreciated having some extra time to rest, she felt rather disappointed that he had to leave.

"Oh and by the way," he called out to her. "If it makes you feel any better, you'd be my favorite character if you were one."

He smiled and left before Yui could say thank you. Even though he had gone, a feeling of placidness remained with her. Perhaps it was because the awful weather had faded, or perhaps it was the warmness of the fire. Maybe it was the new perspective she had gained from an unexpected source, or maybe it was simply Suboshi. Had he been the character crafted to fill the shoes of her pleaser? Was he synonymous to a comic relief in her hapless anecdote?

Yui shrugged the thought away, and crawled over to the bed. Covered in the soft blankets and mild recollections of their conversation, she barely had time to recognize the crawling feeling of sleep creep into her eyes. The last thing she saw before her consciousness retreated into the dark was the pretty fire in front of her. For the first time in one hundred twenty nights, her insomnia was quelled, overpowered by emotions she could not quite name.

AN: I finished it! I never thought I would. Anyway, hopefully this is good enough. If you have some remarks to make (grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, any mistakes, etc…), you can always review, and I promise I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

By the way, I wanted Suboshi to say something about him being a character written to serve Yui. But then I thought it would sound too much like Tamahome's acceptance speech... so I left their conversation in a lighter tone.